Grandmother (Been a year now)

I thought I couldn't stand my grandmother for many years, until she tiptoed away on a Sunday afternoon. I rushed home upon hearing the news, that she had slipped and fell in her room, and was being sent to the hospital. She was gone after 4 hours. No one had a chance to say their last words to her, and neither did she.

My thoughts were serene and I was composed. My mum didn't say much, as we made our way to the hospital. I said to myself: This is it. Without a hint of sadness or pain. I also said to myself, that it was best to remain composed and not show anything else. I did. I thought it was that simple.

The last time I saw my grandmother was the day before her fall. She was smiling at my 2-month old nephew - he will be turning one next week - in my parents' room. That was the last time I saw her before she was lain cold and still in the morgue the next evening. It was hard to believe that she looked so shrivelled and small on the cold metal table. My cousins were red-eyed. I left the morgue and returned shortly after. It was just the two of us. I wanted her to come back and I'd help her out of the cold table and bring her out to everyone and she'd grin her trademark toothy grin, again.

Grandmother had lain very still. She looked like she was in a deep sleep, thats all. I brushed her hand and held it, however, she would had shook it off and murmured irritably to me during her waking days. I just looked at her for a long time, and hadn't known what to say. I whispered to her that I missed her already. I still do, everyday.